The scuffed up walls of the Halloween store seem to be converging on you as a hot, sweaty mother and her grinning son push you out of the way holding a bloodied mask. Each costume you look at seems to be the wrong size, as well as twenty dollars overpriced. Down every aisle little kids seem to have their heads in a mask and their hands on a sword. The pointless Halloween decorations jeer at you from atop their full shelves. You end up going home with a plastic dagger that cost fifteen dollars and a bad headache. Wouldn’t it be so much easier just to gather some household items and put together your costume by hand in about fifteen minutes? You would not have to leave the house, spend any money, or push through any crowded aisles. Here are five of the easiest costumes that you could have made using those things around the house. Go ahead; feel bad about how much unneeded effort you put into your costume. But don’t worry–there’s always next year.

1. Ancient Roman

All you need is one of those old white bed sheets you have lying around (and please don’t use it to be a ghost), and a belt or something to tie it with. Wrap this sheet around you, not too tight, and buckle the belt around your middle. You may need to sew the neckline a little to make it stay up. Don’t wear sneakers, instead find your most old fashioned looking shoes, or go barefoot if you’re not going outside. Also, you can get some real (or fake) flowers and make a crown to go on your head if you’re going for more of a God or Goddess than a regular Roman citizen.

2. Roadkill

Yes, I know it sounds weird. But it’s just so darn easy. Grab an outfit that you don’t want anymore (that you would be okay ripping up and drawing on). Go crazy with scissors on this outfit, make it look like you hit the ground hard and rolled around on cracked cement for a while. Then, take a fabric marker and draw tire tracks across a section of the outfit. You can go online and find the tire tracks of different kinds of cars. For extra effect, you can muss up your hair and draw some blood on your face and body.

3. Undercover Police Officer/Secret Agent

The undercover police officer is for those of you who really don’t care about Halloween, and either all your friends are dressing up or you just want candy. Wear what you usually wear, but try to make it mostly blacks and grays. Get some cool sunglasses. Boom. Undercover cop.

4. Cat (or another easy animal)

This is the go-to Halloween costume for most people because its so easy. Wear black pants, shirt, and shoes, and make sure you have black cardstock. Cut the cardstock into triangles (ear shaped) and glue them onto a black headband. Use makeup (or a marker) to draw whiskers on your face. The tail may be the only hard part of the cat costume. You could use pipe cleaners covered in black paper and wrap it around the belt loop if you have one. Or you could use a piece of black fabric and stuff it with anything you have lying around and sew it shut.

5. Vampire Jock (You may have to leave the house for 10 minutes to complete this costume. Sorry.)

We all have those athletic clothes in the back of our closets that we haven’t touched in years. Well, here’s a great use for them: vampire jock! Just throw on your most athletic clothes and grab whatever type of sports equipment you have lying around. For example, a baseball, basketball, tennis racquet, or football. Make sure you are wearing sneakers. This is, unfortunately, when you have to go outside. You may have a pair of old vampire teeth lying around somewhere, but if not, go to your local dollar store and buy them. Paint a little blood dripping from your mouth and you’re good to go!

Now do you feel bad about the money you have been spending all these years? I hope so. Next year you won’t have you sharpen your elbows to push people out of the way at the Halloween store in your last minute rush. Unfortunately, you still have one problem: what are you going to do with all the money you save?